I remember times of great confusion, of sadness and angst, anger and despair. Of riding a roller coaster of emotion. Relationships were simultaneously beautiful but often short lived. All relative to my thinking. The process to finding my self seemed long yet full of mystery, discovery and always an optimism guided by a knowing. There is no way to describe this knowing. It just is—in every one of us, no matter what the circumstances. And like a moth to a flame we seek out those with this knowing. The knowing is beyond all relative experience, is not dependant upon anything else.
When we are still unaware of the knowing as “self” it is a great gift to sit with someone who has awakened to this. “That” within the teacher (just a conventional term applied to those who would share this light) is recognized by “that” within me. The connection may be such that a spontaneous awakening happens for me but not necessarily. The waters that embrace us all stir, hum and whisper from depths that call us home.
“I am you and you are I” drifts across a blank screen and suddenly shocks me out of identification with this body and this mind. No longer available are the memories that long have held me prisoner in this unreal existence. Everything explodes all around in perpetuity. There is nothing left but the stillness.
I am grateful for my own persistence. I am grateful to the many teachers who have come and gone, some remaining that illuminate the way. Each a treasured gift brought to even sharper awareness if possible, by the death of one such man recently. His wisdom and compassion remain in his physical absence. His knowing is my knowing and your knowing. Being in the presence of knowing is a moment to be treasured. I have privilege to continue being thus with a man who once realizing “that” had a desire to share.
“I hoped to share the good news, particularly with those whom I knew to have quested concurrently with myself. I knew, from my own experience, that a certain element of this unitive understanding is communicable from one mind to another; the analogy is sometimes given of a flame leaping from one torch to another torch. Probably a more apt analogy is that of a centerfielder making a throw to home plate: if the catcher is not fully attentive, there is nothing within the fielder’s power which will complete the transmission. But the fact that the transmission may rarely be received is not a reason for inaction.”—Robert Wolfe, Living Nonduality: Enlightenment teachings of Self Realization. Robert is available and living in Ojai California, a great gift, and like many teachers, wrapped in ordinary brown paper so that some people might pass by without stopping to explore the contents.
It is true however, that we are going to be in the right place at the right time—that we are in the right place and it is the right time. It cannot be otherwise. I wish you well in your seeking; that if you stop seeking you may spontaneously find illumination.